Oh yeah, I remember the bonfire at the beach, the dolphins, and the gummy bears.

She rides roller coasters but never screams (2001 in review)
It’s been quite a year kids. Safety belts should have been tightened a little
tighter. Care thrown into the wind smacked me back in the face. Not that
2001 was horrible. It was full of the best times I have ever had, and the biggest
disappointments. But I guess those go hand in hand. I went to Paris, had a
blast and had a rugby player. Visited the site and took the beaten path. Oh
yeah got lost by myself at 2 in the morning. My 24th b-day came and gone.
Summer slipped away once again. Looking back wish I had done more “summery”
stuff. But SF does only get 4 sunny days. So I guess I did good. Gave my heart
and got it broken. Learn a shit load about my self and my strengths and weaknesses.
Things I will except from others and things I won’t. Started to understand what I
want from love, life and relationships. I don’t know if it is the years experiences or
old age but caution is my word de jour. And even after going to Paris that is about
the only French I know. It’s been a good year and thanks to everyone that made it
that way.

All your tomorrows start here. (Looking ahead to 2002)
I really don’t mean to sound like an AA meeting but, I think I am over living life
day to day. Instead looking forward to what is ahead of me. Or what I what to be
ahead for me. Things I want to do and things I want to see. Stuff I have found
helpful in my life in the past keeping and removing the rest. Being that I am a
quarter of the way to 100 years old. I have had fun and want to continue having
fun. But also need to hunker down and get some shit done. Words de jour for
2002 positive movement.

cause sometimes I said sometimes i hear my voice and it’s been
HERE, silent all these years

Ok working on my blogger 2001 wrap-up.

I have fallen behind the times
This holiday season was about the George Foreman Grill. Did anyone tell me?
NO!!!

"Are you grilling with George, Pam?"
"OH, YES! Are you Tom?"
"Well of course! How about you Geno?"
"NO!!! Cuz no one loves me!!!"

Four people I know have recieved the George Foreman Grill for X-Mas presents.
And all love it. Even though I don't cook, I want one. What happens if all the
sudden a 20oz. porterhouse steak apears in my apartment. And I fuck
it up on the stove. It will be the fault of whom ever didn't get me the grill.

I joined 1000 Journals yesterday.
It's a pretty cool idea. Check it out and join!!!

My friends and I have come up with a quick and easy reference for classification
of sugar daddies/mommies. You are welcome to copy is into a quick and easy
reference card that can fit in your wallet or purse for on the fly relationship
decision making. -your friends at e version 2.0

Bronze Circle
Occasional dinners at fine restaurants, with medium dollar value electronics
and toys or Jewelry between $300-$700 (no rings please).
Silver Circle
Fine Four Star Dining Frequently, with Prada (at least 3 pairs of shoes),
and/or high dollar value Electronics (iPod for geno) and toys or Jewelry,
jewelry starting at $1000 (no rings please).
Gold Circle
Car(s) MSRP starting at $25,000 with a Prada Outfit(s) and Fine Five
Star Dining Frequently. Addionally big ticket item electronics and/or
Jewelry starting at $5000 (rings optional).
Platinum Circle
Property (with Title and Deed) with valued between $250,000 and
$500,000, with a Prada Wardrobe (off the rack), and Fine Five Star
Dining Frequently (who needs jewelry at this point?)
Californium Circle
Primary Property valued over $500,000 with an Island Vacation Home
(Furnished, with Titles and Deeds for both), a Custom tailored Prada
Wardrobe (when don't you need Prada Clothing and Accessories) a car
MSRP starting at $50,000, and Fine Five Star Dining Frequently.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it.
Well belated Merry X-mas. Didn’t do much on my four day weekend.
Went out with friends, drank way to much, repeat. Oh and lots of sleeping
in. I didn’t get out of bed X-mas day till 5pm. Tis a nice thing sleeping in.
Wish I could do it more often.

Also in the news department… My blogger turned 1 on the 22nd. My how time flies,
when you are having fun. The other day,
I was looking thru some old posts. Sometimes think, “what was I thinking!”. And having
certain memories flood my brain. Some sad, some happy. Here is something to sum
up the year:

Come here
Pretty please
Can you tell me where I am
won't you say something
I need to get my bearings
I'm lost
And the shadows keep on changing

I wonder what this new year will bring? The main thing I ask for is calm. This last
year was very up and down. Love gain, love lost. Learned a lot about myself and about
others. Also about human nature and how to deal with people. This year will be my 25th on
Earth, that is quite a milestone. Physically and also mentally. Now I am looking back at those
years and thinking “What have I learned and how can I make my life better with this gained
information.” I feel a need for change in my life. I have lived in SF for 8 years now. And I look
back to see what I have to show for it. And I don’t see myself where I want to be, or where
I had planed myself to be. And that is necessarily a bad thing. Life
hands you out stuff you don’t expect and that forms you in to the person you are and
the life you lead. But from that point it is my job to decided if that is what I want or
where I want to be. Yeah I see this next year full of change. Good change. The so called
higher road. I can do it, I know I can.

Sum up 2001 in 20 words or less.
Loved, Broken, Loved, Broken, Happy.
Part of the:

For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells

OddTodd from oddtodd.com was on KFOG here in SF.
Listen here!!!
He is really funny!!!

I say the word "like" to much.

Your so special, why aren't you dead?

This has to be one of the funniest things I have ever heard:

Giving Choire a handicap in our Florida adventure community service competition tour
I coached him on how to work the hot tub and told him I'd give him ten minutes
before adding myself to the mix of men in the jacuzzi. Assured and ready for the
challenge he made his way outside while I cleaned up around the place a bit.
Leaving the room awhile later I stood on the edge of the complex to listen and
see how he was doing.
Man's Voice: So when do you have to go back?
Choire: Well, I have therapy on the 26th so as long as I'm back before.
Via Phil

funny story update
About the strange email I got yesterday morning. I emailed the husband back.
Including the original email his bitch wife sent me. And this was his reply:

"Yo man that makes sense, I don't know why she used my email but
that shit is on her man, sorry. Thanks for the info.
I'll have to have a little talk with her."

That just slays me!

YEAH 4 day weekend coming up!!!

I just got a email, I think, from my ex-classmates husband. It was a reply
to her email, just saying I don't remember you and I don't care what you think.
And I quote:

"say what, who are you? Is someone hacking my email or did you send
this to the wrong person. Send me the original if this is the correct email.
I have no idea who you are and have never seen your email barbaloot@hotmail.com
again sorry but don't know what this is about. I think someone has taken over my email."

I for one think he may need to keep that little lady of his on a shorter leash.

Maybe I’m the afterglow
’cause I’m with a band, you know
don’t you hear the laughter on the way down
Yes I am the anchorman
dining here with Son of Sam
A hair too much to chat of on the way down
gonna meet a great big star
gonna drive his great big car
gonna have it all here on the way down

funnier story...
I dont' remember who in the fuck she is!!! (read below)

funny story...
I got a email today from some girl, I guess I went to high school with.
She had found me via Classmates.com. And I quote:

"This is Vickie Williams...you may not remember me, but you were a year behind me
in school....without graduating from high school or going to college, how could
you have done all that in the last few years? yeah right..who are you trying to impress?"

This was all in response to my bio on Classmates.com. WHAT THE FUCK? I am sorry
that I didn't end up in a trailer park, fat and with a litter of children. Just because I didn't turn
out like you, doesn't mean that I didn't actually make something of my life. Step-down women
before I beat you down. (That was me going ghetto!)

"The world is no longer a romantic place. Some of it's people still are, however,
and therein lies the promise. Don't let the world win,
Ally McBeal." -John "The Biscuit" Cage (Peter McNicol), from Ally McBeal

“Lies lies lies everywhere”
said the father to the son
Your peppermint breath
Gonna choke him to death daddy
Watch your little black sheep run

WOW... FUN..
Company holiday party/Meet and greet. Is today. OH THE FUN!!!

Only in San Francisco...
A few years ago I went to a holiday party at a couple of friends house here in SF.
Now this couple of friends were a couple, man and woman. The woman was
lesbian and looking for a girlfriend. The guy was gay, and liked young boys. On
top of being married to each other and having sex together. Yeah strange, but
hell this is San Francisco we are talking about. But I digress. Went to a holiday
party at their house. There were about 50 people there. Had a great time. Meet
some cool people, drank, and smoked some pot. Now after the party had
dwindled down to about 10 people we somehow ended up, drunk, stoned
out of our gourds. In their bedroom all trying on different forms of Bondage/S&M
appeal. Yes you heard me right. We were trying on vinyl dress, high heels, collars.
There were wipes, chains, and straps. Sort of strange the things that come to
mind around the holidays after you have lived in San Francisco for 8 years.

I feel like crap today. Why can't it be Friday?

How gay is GAY?
Well I am off at lunch to go with my boss to the flower-mart.

Way to funny...
There now is a Straight Gay Guys Web Ring.
Yes a web ring for what they describe as "too gay for straight, and too straight for gay".

I am not asking you to believe in me
Boy I think you’re confused
I’m not Persephone
foam can be dangerous
with tape across my mouth
those things you do
I never asked you how

As you can see today is the day of lyrics...

His wicked sense of humour
Suggests exciting sex
His fingers focus on her
Touches, he's venus as a boy.

So then Love walked up to Like
and said I know that she don’t like me much
Let’s go for a ride
This ocean is wrapped around that pineapple tree
And is your place in Heaven
worth giving up these kisses
these, yes, these kisses

Take a trip on a rocketship, baby. The sea is the sky.
I know the guy who runs the place, And he's out of sight.
Flying Dutchman, are you out there? Flying Dutchman, are you out there?
Flying Dutchman...
'Cause they can't see what you're born to be.
They can't see me. They can't be
What they can't believe. The can't see what you see.

Wheels are turning...

It sucks when you know you need change in your life. But you don't know
exactly what to change.

You got your game, made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I’m not turned-on
So put away that meat you’re selling
Cuz I do know what’s good for me-
And I’ve done what I could for you
But you’re not benefiting, and yet I’m sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won’t get with this
M'I gonna heal from this; he won’t admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It’s time the truth was out that he don’t give a
Shit about me

I went last night and saw Ocean's 11.
Great movie. Got to see it on the IMax screen. This one is much better
then the original. Really funny, one of those movies where the REALLY
funny stuff wasn't in the preview. This movie is a must see. And I
would say a must see in the theater.

lyrics that ring true...
even the sun’s got a price on it and
there’s something believin’ in her voice again said
there’s something believin’
instead of just leaving
She said it’s time I open my eyes
Don’t be afraid to open your eyes
Maybe she’s right maybe she’s right
Maybe she’s right maybe she’s right

'Oh I dunno, just something I plucked from the air,' she says and
giggles in that delicious way that sends you away entirely satisfied
yet tells you nothing. The enigma has landed.

I do believe in non-violence... but I became a warrior mother.
How can you be rational with the irrational? You want to see fury?
Just wait till the soccer moms start marching. Once the body bags
for the children are brought up it's game over. If you come after my
cubs you give up your rights...'
-Tori Amos on the war on terrorism.

Went and saw Second Skin last night. OMIGOD such a great movie!!!
Lots of crying and laughing. The women in the movie Cecilia Roth.
Was amazing. You end up leaving the theater, not sure exactly how
you should be feeling. Sad? Happy? Angry? Beautifully shot. Which leads me into
I AM IN LOVE WITH THE MAIN ACTOR!!!! Jordi Molla

Ok what is up with coming to work, it is only 8:30am.
And already 180 people have been to this site!!!
Don't you all have some work to do?

Little dust never stopped me now.
You like my shoes?
I keep them on!

but I’ve got a place to go
I’ve got a ticket to your late show
and now I’m worrying cause even still
you sure are pretty
when you’re putting the damage on

Online Morse Code Translator

..-. ..- -.-. -.- -.-- --- ..- -... .. - -.-. .... .. .... .- - . -.-. .... .-. .. ... - -- .- ...

Well, she's come, been, and gone
Come out of the garden, baby
You'll catch a death in the fog
Young girls, they call them
The Diamond Dogs

I was in the middle of writing a short story. When I came across
Ode to the Ex Week on nutz'so.com
Via Philo and my story fit. It is sort of a semi-fiction. Somewhat base on fact.
Parts not. And here it is!

Ode to an ex.

Went to see Mulholland Dr. last night. It comes close
to being one of David Lynch's strangest movies. Which is saying a lot.
It is a must see if you like any of his other movies, as I do.

How to make your computer faster with stickers and racing pinstripes.

Why must I be such a obsessive compulsive FREAK!?!?!

How I feel...
he was angry

So angry...
My cell phone is all kinds of fucked up. I try and dial numbers, it
says it is call, but just sits there. All the sudden one night it switched
to Spanish. (I don't know Spanish!!!) So I went in to sprint to have
them look at it. They run some test and tell me that they will send me
a new one. Well I got the new one today. But one problem. (of course)
IT ISN'T NEW!!!! It is Reconditioned!!! I don't thinks so. I paid over
a hundred dollars on a phone and pay money each month for
insurance on the damn thing. And not to get a reconditioned phone.
Hey maybe I can get the UpRoar phone out of this. Keep you fingers
crossed!

Rusty is a Homosexual

So I was out sick from work on Friday. It is now Monday.
I still feel like crap. Took some meds. Do you think they
did anything? NO! Still feel like crap. Well I can somewhat
breath now. Which is a good sign!

I could just pretend that you love me the night would lose all sense of fear
but why do I need you to love me when you can’t hold what I hold dear

Girl
from in the shadow she calls and in the shadow she finds a way finds a way and in the
shadow she CRAWLS clutching her faded photograph my image UNDER her thumb yes
with a message for my heart yes with a message for my heart she?s been everybody
else?s girl maybe one day she?ll be her own everybody else?s girl maybe one day she?
ll be her own and in the doorway they stay and laugh as violins fill with water screams
from the BLUEBELLS can?t make them go away well I?m not seventeen but i?ve cuts on
my knees falling down as the winter takes one more CHERRY TREE rushin? rivers thread
so thin limitation dreams with the flying pigs turbid blue and the drugstores too safe in their
coats anda in their do?s yeah smother in our hearts a pillow to my dots one day maybe one
day one day she?ll be her own and in the mist there she rides and castles are burning in my
heart and as I twist I hold tight and I ride to work every morning wondering why ?sit in the chair
and be good now? and become all that they told you the white coats enter her room and I?m
callin? my baby callin? my baby callin? my baby callin? everybody else?s girl maybe one day
she?ll be her own...
-Tori Amos

sniff, sniff,
cough, cough

Cracking the fuck up
Oops, I guess I forgot to make a phone call. I just got an email with the subject
"You never called me back last night!" Let's see who it's from. Oh, it's from good old
Michelle. She writes, "Me and Sarah from school (You remember her - the cheerleader
with pig tales) just put together a naughty XXX website that our nobody really knows
about!" Wow, thanks for letting me in on this Michelle. And good spelling of "pig tails."

She continues, "Holy s--t! I forgot to finish the story about Coach Jensen in the
locker room, Remind me to finish that one up when we talk." Oh, that Coach Jensen.
What a rascal he is. Ok, seriously. Stop the spam. Right now. Especially these ones
trying to sound like a real email. "P.S. I think that Sarah really likes you still. Maybe you
should get in contact with her, I know you guys were pretty hot together ;)" Funny, I
don't remember ever being with a Sarah. Oh oh... yeah maybe. The one with the pig tales right?
Via Ryan

There is a person out there. That comes to my site. Who's
ISP is RoadRunner? Who is it? They come to my site often.
If that is you. Please email me at barbaloot@hotmail.com
I so want to know!

I wrote a second short story the other day. And here it is.
Even the mightiest of oak trees.

I feel like shit today. Sore throat, my sinuses are about to explore.
And I have a headache. I think I have a nasty cold coming on.

kicking myself cause we only had two days

She seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon.
You think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her,
but everything you think you know is wrong. Passion flows through her like a river
of blood. She only looked away for a moment, and the mask slipped, and you fell.
All your tomorrows start here.

In the spring time of his voodoo
There is a fine line between needing change in your life
for escape and needing to better your life. Now figuring out
that reason is no easy task. I think the best way to figure that
question out is to wait and plan. By the time you have waited
and planned exactly how this change will happen most likely
the need for escape will have subsided. I feel a human nature
experiment coming on.

Sometimes I wonder if the other person is thinking about me
at the same moment I am thinking of them. What would be the
chances of that happening? Or just the fact of, if the person
ever really thinks about you? Even if you know that they do.
Do they do as much as you? Do they think the same things?
Or is it just passing thoughts?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Taurus: If you have to explain yourself, your dealing with the wrong person.
Via Emily Strange

: It isn't every day that a cop car pulls up to curb under your balcony and
starts harassing a pedestrian over the loudspeaker. But it was that day on
Friday, and I snapped this picture.
"WHAT IS YOUR NAME?" blared the driver through the loudspeaker.
"My name is Tores," said the man, who was wearing only a tracksuit in temperature well
below freezing, qualifying him as down-on-his-luck and really really cold.
"THAT ISN'T YOUR NAME."
"My name is Tores!!"
"NO IT ISN'T."
"My name is TORES!!!!"
"WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU."
Then, while Track Suit Tores pulling hopefully on the back door of the police
cruiser so that he could get in from the cold, the policemen inside kept babbling
at him over the speaker about that-thing-he-did-that-time-that-they-knew-about, and
how his name wasn't Tores, and then sped away with screeching tires.
Bad boys, bad boys.... Bad boys indeed
Via Screaming Midget

That is just not fair!

Stare at the little black dot in the middle of the picture.
Then move your head towards and away from the picture.
Hmm... Strange!

Tis the season for Evites!

sometimes I think you want me to touch you how can
I when you build the great WALL around you in your eyes
I saw a future together you just look away in the distance

Below is a short story I just finished.

The Raft.
By Geno Endicott

I remember building a raft out of sticks, branches, and reeds. Running
thru the fields of rye grass, chasing sheep, trying to catch frogs in the pond.
That soon would dry as summer came. There were whole days of just
laying in the sun, day dreaming and napping. Miles from home walking or
by bike. The country roads going on and on like black ribbons wrapped
around a giant green present. There for us to open and explore. The lick
of a cow is like nothing I have felt. Sticky and thick, like the slime of a banana
slug. There were rabbits, 4-H, county fairs, and state fairs. Tanning of pelts
and butchering of the livestock. Hours upon hours of reading, Jack London,
V.C. Andrews, Jeffery Archer, Judy Blume. Willing to read if it came bound.
Picking up filberts in the orchard, mowing of grass, trimming of trees and rose
bushes. Gardening and tilling, hoeing and trawling. Summers building trail in
the forest. There were animals to trap, gophers, mice, rats and shrews.
Watch out for horse chestnuts. Spiky ball falling from the sky. Pie cherries
so tart the suck the very life out of your mouth. Plums, Raspberries,
Tomatoes, Cucumber, Blackberries, was the food the fueled these
summer days. Four leaf, six leaf, even eight leaf clover. Bluebells, and
daffodils, irises and touch-me-not's. Gravel and grass, pavement and
tar. Bare feet burnt by the sun and scorched by the ground, ruff and
able to run anywhere. Hands ruff yet childlike made for climbing trees and
digging in the mud and dirt, for building sand castles and mud pies.
Watching the chickens as they peck and scratch at the ground.
Gathering eggs some with two yolks, even ones with three, brown
not white the way they should be. Stars and planets and shooting stars,
able to see why they call it the Milky Way. Night filled with the sounds
of crickets and bull frogs, summer rain falling on the tin roof. Sparrows
and robin, black birds with reds wings, some with out. Starlings, and
herons, and ducks and geese. Filling the sky with the sounds of their
calls, and the shapes of their formations. Games were played, tag,
hide and seek, football, soccer, and baseball. Bodies were stung
buy hornets and yellow jackets. Feet and hands bit by fire ants.
Garden snakes were caught and named and keep in jars. Newts
were held and beetles raced. There were cartwheels and races,
handsprings and tumbling. Followed by bruises and scratches, burns
and broken arms. Fights were had and treaties made. Friends made
and lost in a day, a month, a year. Friends were humans and animals
and planets. Whatever happen to be there at the time. Imaginations
raced and made to be stretched. Schemes and plans, were set and
made. Things were build and then destroyed. Newton, Einstein, Galliano,
and Plato were test and confirmed. Test were had. Natural History right in
front of us, rocks, bones, fossils, and leaves. Plants and animals will teach
us how things work. Morning of cold, afternoon of heat. After building
the raft it was getting late so we would come back later. When we
did the raft was broken, the reeds and sticks were no match for the
wind and rain. But we would try next year, yes, lets try next year.

Ok World AIDS Day is over. But shouldn't everyday be AIDS Day?
Here is my AIDS Day page.